Selfish & Vanity

I was walking the dog one night earlier this week.  As I walking down the road, I happened to look to my left.  What did i see?  My shadow..... my shadow with a noticeable belly.  Honestly, my first thought was, "Damn! Look at that."  My second thought was, "I sure do miss my cute, "normal" jeans.....my choice of any shirt I want to wear w/out having to worry about a belly poking out."  I was totally having selfish, vain thoughts.

I'm not going to lie.  For some reason (probably because this was a completely unplanned, unexpected pregnancy), I've been having a harder time with vanity.  I feel as though I have nothing to wear and when it's time to get dressed each morning, I dread it.  Dread it with a passion.  I miss going out for a run several times a day.  I miss working out with weights a couple of nights a week.  I have these thoughts then I think "what kind of mom am I?"  I'm blessed!  Very blessed! But I still have a little pity party on occasion.  All three of my pregnancies themselves have been super easy.  I've never really been sick or had any health issues.  I think of women whom are dying to have one child much less multiple children.... and there I am complaining (or wanting to complain) about my pregnant body..... looking forward to April when I can workout however I want to Lord willing everything goes okay with delivery.

So, there's my confession for the day.  I'm feeling selfish and vain about my body.  But I do have to say this.... while I'm having these thoughts and I feel the little one move..... totally brings a smile to my face!