The highs and the lows

Not many things on this earth can bring a person such absolute joy and a moment later make you think, "What the heck?!"  Motherhood is a joyous adventure where the roads are at times extremely treacherous..... hell, to be honest, it's more like being blindfolded while wondering through the desert.  (Not that I've ever actually been in the desert but you get the point though, right?)

I try my best to make the best decisions for the boys.  Decisions that will give them the help and guidance to lead them in life.  To raise them to be strong Christians, loving and respectful, well-mannered and just a joy to be around.  We are entering (actually, we've been there for a month or two) a new phase in this house.  LM is soon to be 5 years old.  In under a month, I will have a 5 year old up in here!! For realz.... I'm still wrapping my head around that. But anyway.....  LM is such a doll. He really is.  But it's like he is two different children, one when BB is around and one when he's by himself.  If it's just him or just him and TSD, he's an angel.  Sweet! Listens! Follows directions!  But if BB is around, the opposite is true.  He won't listen. He's mean to his brother.  He tells his brother to do things they shouldn't do.  He has a look of pure defiance.

I am stumped!  We try our best to be consistent with discipline but let's be honest.  Or I'll be honest... there are times when my patience run thin and I'm hanging on by a thread.  I have to walk away to chill out.  Yes, I raise my voice more than I like but I can only be calm and cool for so long.  TH and I are just trying to be the best parents we can be.

Look at these boys...... 

My heart explodes with pure joy when I see them!  They are an absolute delight.  And we are blessed!!! Absolutely, no questions about it blessed.  Each so different yet the same because they're MINE.  I feel like this is one of the most important jobs that a person can have..... being a parent.  No, it is one of the most important responsibilites a person can have.  Success is the only option.  No one said it would be easy getting there though.  But no one said it would be this tough either.  I guess it all boils down to the fact that it is so incredibly important I worry that I'm making the best choices.  I want to do my best because my best is what these little guys deserve.  But boy oh boy, they could go a little easier on their mama at times.

The highs and the lows...... my grandfather always says to me "And this too shall pass."  I know 6 months from now or a year from now, we'll be in a new "season".  I'm going to cherish today and not worry about tomorrow.  Today is what I'm dealing with and today is what I'll do my best at.  Tomorrow is another whole new ballgame.  I just got to get through the todays though.