Then and Now .... aka Before I Became a Mommy

When TH and I married, I knew one day we would have children.  Actually, we discussed having a family before we were married.  How many children we would have one day?  How long we wanted to be married before we wanted them?  How much space between children?...... all these were questions we asked and answered.  I had thoughts of graduating college and then going onto law school.  I even worked for several attorneys throughout high school and college.  Took the LSAT my junior year in college in preparation for applying to law school.  I was looking at a career..... looking for something I would love to do.  The more I worked in the attorneys' offices, the more I realized that wasn't what I wanted to do.  I didn't want to put in 60 hour weeks.  I didn't want to be away from my future husband and future kids for cases.  I decided to go to work for my dad.  He owns a construction company and welcomed me with open arms. 

It's funny how we have a certain perception of how we want things.  How we imagine things to be.  I never would have imagined I would be thoroughly enjoying staying home with my boys on a regular basis.... or wanting to stay home.  And truthfully before TSD was born, I never really thought about it.  I'm working a little here and there at the office.... working some from home right now.  I'm still technically on maternity leave.  Being a SAHM isn't an option for us.  We need my income.  But I am enjoying the time while I can and pretend I'm a SAHM. 

It's amazing how much change being a mommy brings.  Life is crazy hectic but so rewarding.  I firmly believe that my marriage is my first priority.  Followed by my children.  If my marriage is strong and healthy, I really do believe there's a trickle down affect..... I can be a better mother if I'm a good wife.  I want my boys to know what a marriage should be.  It should be partnership; it should be based on a Christian lifestyle; it should have trust; it should have love that only grows stronger each and every day; it should forgive when forgiveness is needed.

I guess the point of this whole post is just for me to stop and realize how different my thoughts are today..... today I'm a mommy.  Before I became a mom, my thoughts, wants, wishes and desires were different.  It was more about me.  What I wanted and what made me happy.  And I do think becoming a mom has made me a better wife.  So while I don't have a big career, I have a job that I enjoy.  And a job I'm lucky to have.  A job that allows me to work around my boys schedules.  A job that lets me be a mother.